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This Just In: Iran Doesn’t Think Canada is Safe. That’s Right, Iran.

In case you haven’t been paying attention over the past few weeks, Iran and Canada haven’t exactly been getting along. Now I’m not going to say who started it, but needless to say Canada has moved its embassy out of Tehran and let the Italians be their proxy (Forza Azzuri!) while they sort this matter out. And by sort, I mean commence not speaking to each other. It’s unlikely they will be getting together and singing Kumbaya together anytime soon… for a number of reasons.

The source of many a sleepless childhood night…

I remember growing up being confused by a lot of different things when I looked at a map of the world. Things like the Greenland/Iceland thing, how Italy got shaped liked a boot (and whether people refered to it as that until satellite imaging became prevalent… I was a pretty nerdy kid) and why there were two countries right next to each other that had the exact same name except one ended in an ‘N’ and the other with a ‘Q’, yet supposedly they were very different. For years, Iran was the troublemaker, Iraq was okay… then they reversed… now it seems like they’ve reversed again. Buh?

Now I find out that Iran has called my home and native land a dangerous place. At first I laughed this off as more crazy political propaganda from one of the modern day masters of the craft, their fearless leader… but then I actually thought about it and, well, they’re not entirely wrong!

Remember all those shootings in Toronto in the summer? What about Quebec students going ape-shit over tuition increases? And recently, there have been a lot of attacks on females in certain districts of Toronto – the very city where many Iranians relocate to if they move to Canada. If this was the stuff that was being broadcast to the world instead of our normal poutine-eating contest and hockey crying headlines, well, maybe other places do think of us as not so safe?

O Poutine… we should put you on the flag!

Except… well… it’s different?

Off the top of most people’s heads, if they were to choose between Canada or Iran as being a safe place, I’m willing to bet my lucky nickel that they would side with Canada. Sure, there has been violence here – what country hasn’t had some? While I’m not an international media expert, I can imagine there is a lot more transparency with what gets reported in Canada than in Iran.

To be fair to Iran, Canada did issue a travel advisory to it first and basically called it out on not being an ideal place to visit. Iran reacted much like any fourth grader would who was just told they were mean and that someone (Canada) can’t be friends with them anymore. “FINE! I DIDN’T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND ANYWAYS! AND… AND YOU ALSO SMELL!”

Bam. It’s on!

*cough* This guy *cough*

Would I like to visit Iran one day? Absolutely, if the region settled down a bit and got a more democratic government and once Canada and them get back on better terms. I’m sure it’s a beautiful country with a rich heritage that just happens to be run by a crazy man. But as it currently stands, led by a regime that denounces many of the things I value and in all likelihood supports racist and violent causes, I’ve got to say no dice.

Why can’t we all just get along?

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