How to Avoid Getting Shanked During Your First Night in Barcelona

If there is one thing I love more than travelling, it is feeling safe. I like to know I can go out there and have a good time soaking it all in without having to make a late night visit to a foreign (or local for that matter) emergency room or make a gunpoint phone call to my family for ransom money. There are enough random occurrences in this world to make life interesting, why go calling attention to myself unnecessarily?

Although if the hospital looked like this, it might not be so bad!

Having said this, after reflecting on a trip to Barcelona with friends a while back, I’ve come to the conclusion there are a number of things we could’ve done differently to avoid unpleasantness. While nothing ultimately did go… terribly wrong… we would’ve lacked sympathy from casual onlookers if anything did.

So if you are planning a trip to Barcelona and want to avoid getting shanked, I offer you the following advice (in the order they happened to us):

 

1. Don’t go looking to score illegal substances

No need to worry when you have the Pumpkin King as an ally!

I try to follow this in everyday life, but just because you’re on vacation it doesn’t mean your morals should be too. I would like to stress that I was not the member of the group looking for said substances, but as I was a member of the group, I likely would’ve been involved in any fallout. It went like this: buddy asks shady looking guys selling after hours beer for drugs, shady looking guys offer him some, buddy asks for something else, shady looking guy confers with his group and agrees they have some, buddy changes mind, shady looking guy gets quiet and stares unpleasantly in our direction until we slowly walk away. Nothing like making enemies five hours into a trip!

 

2. Make sure you have accommodations

We had a place to sleep for the rest of our stay, but not the first night. “We’ll just walk around all night and party! We’ll be so pumped up we won’t be able to sleep!” was my buddy’s justification of not securing a hostel for our arrival. My initial reaction was total agreement – I was so stoked for the trip I couldn’t imagine wanting to sleep.

The only problem is, I enjoy having a place to sleep and I remembered this fact soon after dinner when exhaustion set in. While you think you’re going to be so jacked up on adrenaline and the novelty of it all, if you have just gotten off a train or plane and have spent most of that day in transit to said place, you need a place to crash. Even if it’s just for a few hours to decompress, but especially so you don’t have to carry your bag around the whole night.

Which leads to…

 

3. Try not to nap on park benches at 4am

Of course you likely wouldn’t do this if you had a safe place to sleep indoors. 4am in Barcelona is primetime for thievery – it’s still a few hours from sunrise when they return to whence they came to avoid the sun’s judgmental rays. We experienced this by finding a bench just to rest our eyes, but one person stayed awake to keep an eye on things and read. Want to know the ironic part? It was her bag that got stolen! Those of us sleeping used our bags as pillows, but she, thinking being awake and reading a book was safe enough, had her bag by her feet and someone walked right up behind the bench and took it without her knowing.

 

4. Avoid confrontations with party-folk going through pre-dawn withdrawal

Great spot to watch the sunrise... or drug addicts crashing

Around 5am, after the bag incident, we decided to keep moving, making our way to the beach to watch a sweet Mediterranean sunrise – still one of my best memories to this day. Before we took in the splendour of light’s first emergence, we came across another early morning light – the falling phoenix of the narcotics user. He met us at the entrance to the beach, inquiring quite urgently as to whether we had any hash or failing that, anything else, that he might use to stave off his withdrawal. We did not, and, possibly due to a lack of energy, he went on his way. Uneventful, yes – but you never can be sure with such individuals.

After witnessing the magnificence of the sunrise and departing the beach, we saw our burnt out friend huddled up on a bench, shivering in what was already a very warm day, no doubt preparing to rise once more in a blaze of glory

Totally worth it.

 

 

In summary, don’t do anything illegal and have accommodations booked and you’ll be well on your way to avoid being shanked.

That’s Just About the Craziest Thing I’ve Seen – Akihabara, Tokyo

Ever seen or done something while travelling that still sticks with you long after you’ve left? I sure have! Here are a few of the crazy weird things I have seen during my travels over the years, or at least the non R-rated version – after all, think of the children.

Japanese Maid Cafes in Akihabara, Tokyo, Japan

Nothing like standing in the middle of the street to make you feel like a big man...

I could fill a book on the weird things I’ve seen in Japan, and one day I inevitably will, but the maid cafes were the first truly strange things I saw that let me know just what a different world Japan is.

Akihabara is the technology district in Tokyo where you can find every part needed to build an amazing computer, buy import games and generally just nerd out in an area that has men outnumbering women 10:1. While you will run across many people in cosplay (dressed like favourite characters from video games, anime, movies, etc) do not confuse the many girls dressed as French maids on street corners as being among them, or as prostitutes. No, their purpose is to advertise little cafés where you are served by cute (see adorable, not sexy) maids that know a great deal about comic books and video games – you know, every man’s dream.

Can you say... sek-shi?

In classic Japanese fashion, this is overdone, and you would be astonished at the number of maid cafés there are in this one district that caters to the awkward techno-geek in all us males. Even if you don’t go into one of the cafés, just walk around the district and either feel utterly at home or instantly better about yourself. I used to go about once a month!

This Just In – Awesome Guy (Me) Helps Stranded Couple in Rome

Hey, divine being? Whoever is up there, if you exist, I hope you were paying attention because I did something totally selfless and I hope you will remember that when I ask for a favour!

After a long night of walking the streets of Rome I decided to check out one of their finest pizzerias for something spicy and delicious. Actually, I just went to the one my B&B had a flyer for that was around the corner and had a picture menu. Man, there is nothing better than a wood fire pizza!

Pizza Pac-man was given a good home...

Anyways, while I was waiting for my pizza, a couple around my age came in looking a little distressed and road-weary. After hearing them speak English and trying to make eye contact a little too often to maybe spark up conversation but not appear nosey, we got to talking. Turns out they just got into Rome a few minutes prior on their motorcycle and had no place to stay because they weren’t setting a specific itinerary and just crashing where they could, but they were wondering if I knew any places that had rooms because everywhere was booked (it was peak season, after all).

Well, me being the kind soul that I am suggested they swing by our B&B because I thought there was a room open. So the guy came with me, I asked the guy in charge if there was room, which there was, and they ended up staying there two nights. A swell guy, aren’t I?

Our B&B was right across from the Vatican museum... pretty awesome!

We spent some time shooting the breeze and chatting it up and I found out they were both from Scotland, Aberdeen to be exact, and were doing the Ewan McGregor thing on their motorcycle. That is, they were driving through all of Europe with nothing more than what they could fit into their motorcycle bins (which wasn’t much) and were 8 weeks in, with 8 more to go. Crazy! They had just come from all the places I was going to in northern Italy and offered me some points on there and on Scotland, where I was off to in 10 days.

Moments like those on the road are what make travel really magical – the random bump ins with others along the world’s open road where you can find common ground with perfect strangers and swap experiences. I never heard from them again after we left Rome but I hope they had a good trip and that they remember the awesome Canadian dude who totally saved them from a night on the streets in sweaty Rome.

Did I mention it was raining too? Yeah, I’m the best.

Lausanne: 1, Toronto: 4… but Lausanne Wins. Suck on That.

Here’s a story that caught my eye a few weeks ago involving the Swiss city of Lausanne, if for no other reason than me saying ‘Ooo! I’ve been there!’ Truth be told, had I not visited there, I probably would have no idea where there was. Oh how I’ve grown…

Middle-left, northeast of Geneva. You're welcome.

Cities around the world tackle public transit in a variety of ways. Some cities embrace it, while others ignore it. In a few cases, cities find a wonderful balance between those who use it and those who don’t, but more often than not, public transit satisfies nobody while angering everyone.

Take Toronto for example. If you truly want to witness the breakdown of the human psyche, tell a Torontonian there are plans to add more streetcars to the city. Seriously. Go ahead. They are more likely to have an aneurism right there than offer you any kind words. Toronto has four subway lines, (two of which are actually useful) and a whole host of other transportation means that seem to encourage gridlock. I mean, in a dream world, we would all be able to get from point A to point B without any hassle, expense or slight to other people. If only it were that way.

But some cities do it pretty well and take initiatives that should be lauded.

The Swiss city of Lausanne (the place that I have been – hooray!) opened their subway in 2008 after seven years of planning and building. Lausanne is not a big place, with around 330 000 people in the city and suburbs, but they managed to build a subway line to fit their citizen’s needs. It would’ve been nice if it had’ve been there when I visited in 2007 – anyone who has ever been to Lausanne knows with it being built on a mountain it is a chore to traverse… especially when you live at the top but go to school at the bottom.

It's pretty much this steep in the whole city... hooray for engineers!

The article is written from a Canadian perspective, lambasting Toronto for it’s shoddy system, but it can be applied to really any moderately sized city. There are a ton of places out there that travellers would love to check out but the experience is hampered or improved depending on how easy it is to get around. Since driving is expensive, impractical and environmentally irresponsible (not to mention parking is the absolute worst part of the driving experience), we need sweet ways to get around that fit our itineraries. And if it helps out the locals that’s good too… I guess.

Part of the reason Toronto’s public system blows is because they can’t agree on anything. The city council is divided, the citizens want a good system but only if it doesn’t cost them anything or impact the roadways (yes, a realistic lot they are) and the employees of the transit authority don’t want it to hurt them in the least (which you would think a new system would give them more jobs, but like the subway in Lausanne, maybe it would be automated?). Everybody wants something but nobody has the cojones to make the first move, so public transit and driving in Canada’s biggest city remains a giant pain in the tookus.

As a traveller I know one of the things I judge a place on is how easy it is to get around and it’s good to know there are cities out there that make it a priority for locals and tourists alike.

The Next Best Thing to Living in an Ikea Store

Maybe it’s because I recently finished the Millennium Trilogy (you know, the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) or maybe it’s that my mom works for H&M, but I’m having a love affair with the Swedes as of late. Come to think of it, two of my roommates in Australia were from Sweden and in one of my undergrad courses I did a paper on the proportional representation and the Swedish Social Democratic Party. This can’t all be a coincidence, can it?

Now I find out Ikea is getting into the urban development business and I don’t know why but I’m pretty excited. Supposedly their plan is to buy areas of cities that are a little on the fixer-upper and knifed in a back alley side, and turn them into liveable areas Ikea-style. Read more about it here, as the details are fairly intriguing.

Proposed design in London - pretty sweet! (from the Globe and Mail)

How does this pertain to the wandering traveller? Well, not overly so, except that it does could make cities more liveable, cities less sprawling and public transit more awesome. It could be perfect for the wandering nomad with commitment issues – fully furnished, central to the action and (hopefully) not that expensive, so if you ‘settle down’ and then want to light out again you have that option? Or it could be the first stage in some sort of stylized Orwellian dystopia… but for once I’m going to be an optimist.

One of the biggest problems with modern cities, particularly in North America, is urban sprawl. Cities in the ‘old world’ suffer from this too, but we new world dwellers have had the luxury of wide open spaces when our ancestors got here and could dream big. Some people want to live downtown and don’t overly care about the size of their living space so long as they have the address. Others don’t and they would hate the cramped confines, but then this project isn’t aimed at them. If there’s one thing Ikea knows how to do, it’s how to make the most of a tight spot.

Best comic ever

Walk into an Ikea showroom for a kitchen, bedroom or loft apartment and try not to feel like you could live in it. Not for the rest of my life and not when I start a family, but for this point in my life – it would be pretty sweet. Living in a building with like minded people, many of them, in an area designed as a functional community and you could be the envy of all your friends.

Of course there are problems associated with all of this and I’m sure the finished product won’t be the Swedish utopia we all yearn for, but it’s taking ideas like these from other countries that is one of the reasons I love travelling. You get to see things from a different perspective, come home and colour your world with those new found shades. And sure, when years from now we talk about how it came to pass that our Ikea-overlords enslaved us so easily, you can look back at this moment and blame it all on me.

NEW MONEY! YAHOOO!

Canada has recently started rolling out plastic bank notes to take the place of their older, easier to counterfeit paper ones and if you can’t tell already, I’m pretty excited.

This will no doubt cause my American friends to shake their heads because Canadian money has always seemed strange compared to the serious green and green-white U.S. currency, with our multi coloured (I know, your bills now have some colour too) poem and hockey laden denominations. Now it’s turning plastic? What serious currency isn’t printed on paper? (keep in mind, the Canadian dollar has been worth more than the U.S. for quite some time now).

Aussie money - so pretty and you're not screwed if you forget to take it out of your shorts before surfing!

Like many countries, Canada had a problem with counterfeiters, so we turned to the country founded by criminals for help – Australia. Seems the Aussies have been using this fancy money made of ‘polymer’ (because it sounds more fancy than plastic) for years and it’s been working swimmingly. Sure, it costs more to print but it lasts longer, making it worthwhile in the long run. Add in the benefit that the formula for making the polymer isn’t able to be reproduced illegally (that we know of… or yet), with the machine-wash friendliness of these new notes and you have a currency to be proud of. Canada just keeps getting more and more attractive financially, doesn’t it? Hint, hint, Iceland!

Last year Canada released their $100 bill as a kind of test with their $50 getting released now – the idea was to work out any kinks related to being in circulation but not on as wide of a scale as the smaller denominations. The real test will come when the $20 is released in the next year or so, as this is the go-to bill for most people and since it is generally the only one accepted in stores at present because of the counterfeiting issues, it will be interested to see if attitudes change.

Looks at those handsome devils...

While for many reasons the new money has me excited – yes, that’s all it takes – I can’t help but lament the designs on the back of the Canadian money that will be replaced by new ones for the new ‘theme’. The $10 bill has mention of Canada’s war efforts with the poem ‘Flanders Fields’ on the back, the $20 bill has some of our native heritage, but mostly it’s the $5 bill that I will miss the most. Not because I’m proud of what is on the back but because I like whipping it out for foreigners and watching them shake their heads when they see we actually do have hockey on our money.

What are your thoughts on plastic money or changes in currency in general? Are you as stoked as me?

Think Before You Tweet – London St. Patty’s Day Riot

It’s amazing to sit back and watch social media come into its own. What started as a way to talk to your friends online and share jokes and pictures has evolved into… well pretty much exactly the same thing as real life. Allow me to explain.

If you were to walk into a crowded room and announce you have done something reprehensible, there is little doubt you would be tackled and detained for questioning. You may not have done anything, you may have been kidding, but hey – if you make those kind of claims, others might want to know more. Consequences? You better believe it.

Well done. #Idiot

In the online world, this has seemingly been difficult to match in the physical due to the relative anonymity of the medium. Thanks to Facebook, Twitter and any other number of social media sites, you can have a similar forum as that crowded room with the added bonus of all your personal information listed. In order to make everything truly linked and convenient, you can even link your phone and other devices to your online personal profile so your declarations are broadcast to everyone you know. And guess what? Because it’s a public forum, the authorities can use it against you if you do something stupid.

Like… a St. Patrick’s Day Riot.

Their parents must be so proud.

London, Ontario was home to just such an event this year and, just like with the Vancouver Stanley Cup riot, social media is playing a part in bringing the perpetrators to justice. Suddenly tweeting “OMFG just flipped a news van! #I’mAwesome #CTVNEWSVANFLIPPER” doesn’t seem like such a bright idea, but hey, it’s all a part of mob mentality.

The real story here is no story at all - this place is awesome.

I was actually in London during St. Patrick’s Day and I can’t say that I didn’t feel like something would happen. The weather was ridiculously hot (20+ Celsius as opposed to around 0 C for the time of year), it was a Saturday and it was the tail end of March Break – what about that didn’t spell disaster? I was downtown getting some Barakat (hands down, the best shawarma in town) and enjoyed listening to the drunken buffoonery as a reminder of years gone by. Actually, I was pretty annoyed by it all, never being that big of a douche (I hope) and I couldn’t wait to get out of town, which I did at around 5pm (thus providing an alibi!).

I don’t mean to sound like one of those cranky old men who talk about how kids today have no respect, but the whole social media disconnect from reality seems to make this generation of young adults feel a lack of social conscience for those things right in front of them. Big causes? Oh they will support those passionately through tweets and hyperlinked YouTube clips, but putting their phones away while at dinner? Not so much. How would anyone know what they were doing if they weren’t online? #Ugh

The ‘adult’ institutions, like the police and government are notoriously slow for adopting whatever trend the kids are using these days, but so long as morons are admitting to at least being at crime scenes during the crime, it won’t be ignored any time soon. I look around at other people’s St. Patty’s Day adventures and see people in New York at parades, friends on exotic beaches relaxing or taking in a few pints of Guinness in Ireland – all through social media. We shouldn’t be anymore surprised that there are morons out there using it irresponsibly than we are that others brag about it face to face.

In the end, you can’t help but feel a little bit better about the goodness of people when it was probably through social media that decent individuals exposed their idiot ‘friends’ for their actions. That’s something to tweet about.

Hey Analysts – Stop Ruining My Apple Dreams!

This is the second image that comes up on a Google search for Apple. What an age we live in. Delicious!

Remember when you were a kid and it was your birthday or Christmas or some other gift receiving time and you had no idea what was coming and were completely blown away by the gift? Even  when you got a little older and figured out what was coming, it was still great because everyone in the world hadn’t already weighed in on exactly what you were getting, decided it was a let down and broadcast it a thousand times over.

This is the scenario in the business world because as we all know, creating/crushing dreams is worth big money. How much big money, you ask? Nobody knows. Even ‘experts’ don’t know because predicting economic trends has that ever changing variable known as the human factor. But that doesn’t stop people from trying.

Unless you’ve been in a coma for the past decade, Apple pretty much rules the universe. During my last trip abroad, I was amazed at the number of iPads people were using as part of their travel gear… and was insanely jealous. When Apple announces they are going to announce something, the world stops and waits – like with the new iPad. This is because, as everyone knows, any product released by Apple with literally change the course of human history and make everything that came before it seem like a pile of garbage. People may criticize this grandstanding sensationalism and use of hyperbole but this has been Apple’s modus operandi since the 1980s, so at least they are consistent.

Sure, I get sucked into the excitement, but you need a media blackout until it’s released to not have it ruined by the analysts, the business equivalent of some jerk kid shaking, unwrapping and then peeing on your presents right in front of you. Then they tell you ‘oh yeah… we knew this all along and were disappointed this is all it does’, causing the price of its stock to drop because the kid who can never be satisfied wasn’t satisfied. What would make them happy? Getting everything that they wanted plus a wicked surprise – what kid wouldn’t want that? As my mom will attest to, that is I.

Biggest problem? Like the 4S, people won't instantly know when they see it that you're better than them.

With the new iPad, it looks exactly the same physically but comes with a higher resolution screen, better camera and a few other things that make it more of an update than a totally new product – and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Many analysts and reporters have some sort of god complex where they think what they say or write will alter people’s perceptions. Remember when the first iPad came out? The vast majority of analysts criticized it for being nothing more than a giant iPhone. Then when the iPhone 4S came out and it wasn’t called iPhone 5 *gasp* and it wasn’t physically different from the iPhone 4, you could almost feel the contempt. Actually, I think they were just embarrassed that they jumped the gun by calling it iPhone 5. Now with the new iPad, the tone seems much more neutral with fewer harsh criticisms, probably due to the ridiculous number of iPhone 4Ss and iPads that have been sold despite their criticisms, resulting in unbelievable profits for Apple. Now the analysts are just waiting for the company to fail so they can say ‘we knew it all along’. Sure you did.

I guess I shouldn’t be too harsh on the analysts, as they are only trying to do their job within our hypercapitalist society. The same goes for Apple as they are only making and marketing their products to attract buyers – if you don’t like their products, you are free to buy someone else’s. I’m even fine with having the surprise ruined by knowing exactly what it’s going to feature – just don’t tell me how to feel about it. That’s for me to decide.

 

Don’t Bjork With Me – Iceland Wants Canada’s Money?

I don’t know why I was so excited when I found this out, but you know what? I still am.

Maybe it’s because Iceland has had a string of bad luck between it’s economy and natural disasters. It could have something to do with the strength of the Canadian economy, and as a Canadian, it’s great to hear these things about your home. Or perhaps it’s the traveller in me celebrating at the prospect of not having to change currencies if I vacation in Iceland. Priorities, right?

To summarize a recent article in the Globe and Mail, apparently, in some vague non-declaration, Iceland is interested in adopting the Canadian dollar as their currency. Seems our geothermal neighbours to the northeast admire our resource based economy and were wooed by our come hither glances.

If only Greenland weren't in the way...

Why would any country want to give up their money to share someone else’s, particularly when Canada has made it quite clear we would be calling the shots (or at least as much as a free-market will allow)? Well, stability for one, particularly if your own money isn’t reliable. Not to mention the feel-goodery that will emerge between nations. (and the host of other reasons outlined in the article… seriously read it! It’s right here!)

I mean, as a travel enthusiast, I’m always looking for somewhere new to go and Iceland’s stock definitely just went up in my books – especially if it’s in my currency! I’ve gotten numerous emails over the past few months advertising Iceland for vacations and I have to tell you, I’m intrigued. It’s that little island country not quite in Europe but still considered a part of it that every now and then spews forth untold misery for its mainland ‘brethren’. Remember when you were a kid and you thought Iceland was icy and Greenland was, well, green, and you found out it was kind of the opposite? It’s just one of those places you kind of forget about but would love to check out because it’s probably awesome.

I probably shouldn’t go on like this, acting like they just announced Iceland was becoming the 11th province or something like that, but it’s this kind of news that really fascinates me. From all that I’ve seen, Iceland is a beautiful country with an interesting history that in some ways mirrors Canada’s own. The currency thing may never pan out, but it’s nice to know we have fans nearby.

You know… just so long as those crazy volcanoes don’t kill us all.

Just about the scariest thing you can imagine

Avalanches – Is There Anything More Terrifying?

Buh?

For anywhere lucky enough to dip below 0 C (or 32 F for the non-metrically inclined), snow recreation is a part of life. Sure, we still have all the same summer activities, but for a few months a year – sometimes longer or shorter depending on the weather – residents get to take part in some of the most creative sports ever conceived. Gliding across ice on knife shoes? Strapping a board to your feet and seeing how many times you can flip yourself in a half-tunnel? Everything to do with bobsleds and the skeleton? Crazy!

When I lived in Australia, aside from being asked if snow hurt when it touched you, one of the most laughable things I was asked was ‘How do you handle not being outside all the time?’ Coming from the country with some of the most dangerous wildlife on land and in the sea on Earth in addition to outrageous UV rays, I always found the Australian query ironic. My response was: ‘Quite well, actually – this is where we dream up all our crazy sports,’ which is probably the reason why you’ll find so many Australians at ski resorts around the world. Plus, when the ice age comes again, who do you think will survive? Well, probably no one…

But the Aussies may have a point.

I read a recent article that had the Dutch Prince Johan buried in an avalanche while skiing in Austria. Seems he is okay, being buried for ‘only’ 15 minutes, but it got me thinking about the dangers of our beloved winter sports, particularly as so many people travel specifically for that reason.

The part of Canada I reside in doesn’t have what the western part, or the rest of the world for that matter, would consider ski conditions. Sure, we have mountains, but not like the Rockies. Even still, we are all too familiar with the news reports multiple times a year about fatalities due to an avalanche. While some of these accidents are just freak occurrences due to a change in weather or some other phenomena, many are preventable if people just stick to spots they are supposed to be. Many avalanches happen when a group of people decide to go past the ‘safe zone’ and into what is known as the backcountry. Beautiful, yes. Safe? Don’t count on it.

Ah sarcastic signs... I wonder what the result of that lawsuit would be...

The proprietors of these resorts aren’t a bunch of buzz kills trying to keep you out of the top secret fun zone – they are trying to keep you alive. Sure, it looks amazing in pictures, but that doesn’t mean it won’t kill you. The same is true for snowmobiling, ice hockey and fishing – pretty much everything out on the ice. If there are signs or warnings about checking conditions before using, please do so. Keep winter fun and not the evil death time that it could be.